Restless me

J had a freezer full of goose breast riddled with shot. His family owned property on ——- with a duck blind against the water, where the menfolk, clad in camouflage, would sit on brisk fall mornings, guns poised. He showed me the blind that first summer, took my hand and led me through a tunnel of cornstalks gone brown. We sat close on the austere bench, hidden behind grass that had become hoarse with whispering over the years. I am sure he kissed me in that humid July air because we did a lot of that then, sweet lingering kisses in between fights and sarcasm.

So started the post (“Shoot him ‘fore he run now,” long excised from the blog) from almost 9 years ago, in the melodramatic, melancholic early days of wts, my writing permeated with a cloying nostalgia for the even more melodramatic, melancholic days of my early adulthood. Both eras ran on pure heat, one in action, the other in imagination.

The post, a post-mortem of my relationship with J, was in part about a night when I grabbed an unloaded shotgun and threatened to use it on myself. Obviously, I survived that night (and other serious flirtations with suicidal thoughts). These days I remind myself that hopelessness is generally temporary. Life is a gift. And I’ve become almost a caricature of even-temperedness. Over-emotionality and self-destruction have done a slow fade, elbowed out by sensibility and acceptance. When did I suddenly became so reasonable, so stereotypically middle-aged? This quote, the last paragraph of the piece, feels like something written about another person entirely, someone unfamiliar:

I’m sure he chalked the night up to my overgrown sense of drama, another mark against me to go with my unfaithfulness and love of alcohol. Thank god I’ve tossed aside those crutches for the most part, though I miss the drama sometimes. Drama sparks up the night, shines a little light into the abyss. Without it, you have only darkness, have to bravely perch on the edge until the abyss slowly creeps away. And that’s where I seem to be right now for reasons that are unclear to me, dirging it out until the fog lifts.

Ah yes, that person. Clinically depressed, though she did not know it, isolated and itching for a fight, for bit of bruising on sensitive flesh. Since then and now, I went to school. I got a job. I started antidepressants and stopped antidepressants. I eliminated alcohol. I stopped taking over-the-counter sleep medication. I eat sensibly and keep my feelings in check. I’m good. I’m fine. I’m healthy in my body and my mind.

But I wake up before 5am almost every day a little restless.

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Best Cover Up for Acne-Prone Skin

There are two crucial properties of foundations that are the best cover up for acne prone skin. It has to cover the pimples without looking like a piece of cake and make sure it doesn’t clog the pores, so breakouts don’t continue.

How to Select the Best Coverup for Acne Prone Skin 

1.     Try Not to Make the Acne Increase

Try looking for noncomedogenic cosmetics. This means they do not clog your pores. Make sure you do not use foundations that have denatured SD alcohol. These types are called isopropyl alcohol. They destroy the protective surface of your skin, and it also makes oily skin worse than it already is.

2.     Check the Ingredients

Try getting a foundation that is liquid with a concentration of salicylic acid that is not high. This helps in the removal of too much oil and the removal of dead skin cells, working like a pore cleaner and to keep the pores clear.

3.     Try Getting a Powder

A lot of dermatologists normally advise you get a powdered product over a liquid one for skin prone to acne. It is less likely to clog your skin, because the particles from the pigment are larger than those that are made of liquid. If you like ones that are made of liquid, then don’t use the ones with dewy finishes. Get something that is free of oil and not matte.

There are a lot of foundations that could be used as a cover-up and could help manage breakouts. Here is a list of options for the best cover up for acne prone skin.

5 Best Cover Ups for Acne Prone Skin

1.     Bare Minerals’ Blemish Rescue Skin-Clearing Loose Powder Foundation

It is a powdered foundation from Bare Minerals, which offers salicylic acid, kaolin clay, acne-fighting zinc, and other ingredients like oat protein, which helps to calm irritation. It has been tested by different dermatologists and is a non-drying noncomedogenic.

2.     Maybelline’s Fit Me Matte + Poreless Liquid Foundation Makeup

This helps in giving a skin-like coverage and buildable cover-up at an affordable price. It is an oil-free formula that is noncomedogenic and helps in covering imperfections and using a pore blurring finish and a soft matte. It also is available in a shade range that is diverse, so everyone could get what would work for them.

3.     MAC Studio’s Fix Fluid Foundation SPF 15

Using a concealer that is too dark or too light most times increases the acne instead of reducing it. You should use a type of cover-up that is right for your skin. This is also created to make your skin look natural.

4.     Jane Iredale’s Enlighten Concealer

Jane Iredale’s Enlighten Concealer is a cruelty-free concealer formulated for dark under-eye circles, coloration or bruising, as well as acne or scarring. It contains anti-irritant and antioxidant properties thanks to its key ingredients of algae extract, moringa seed oil, white Lilly extract, and more.

5.     100% Pure’s 2nd Skin Concealer

2nd Skin Concealer by 100% Pure is a creamy, lightweight concealer wand that’s convenient for travel. Stick it in your purse or gym bag for daily corrective touch-ups. It’s made from fruit and hydrating olive extract.

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